Why

Why? 

It’s a very simple question. 

It’s a very powerful question.

And it’s one I’ve asked all my life. 

But for many of my Chinese friends, it’s something they don’t ask at all.

I’ve had several revealing conversations with some of my Chinese friends lately. And for some reason this simple question keeps popping up-but usually when I ask them why, they give me blank stares. 

I went “hiking” with a couple student I know at the North University here in Taiyuan. FYI, Chinese hiking means climbing a bunch of stairs to the top of a mountain and then climbing back down said stairs. Yeah, real hiking. 

Some of my friends at Zhong bei-Nolan, Peter, and Corey

Anyway, while we were hiking, one of the guys asked me, “Lindsay, do you believe everything your parents and teachers tell you?”

My first instinct was to laugh and react with a smart-aleck retort. But I realized that it was a really serious question in his mind. 

So I answered with, “No, I don’t.”

They looked at me like I had 3 heads with green horns and red lasers coming out of my eyes. 

So I had to elaborate. I told them how growing up I always questioned everything-I wanted to know why. And if someone didn’t give me a good enough reason to believe something or do something, I wasn’t going to do it. 

Their response: “Oh, that’s not like China.”

I know that’s not like China. In China they just do things because their parents did them, and their parent before them, and their parents before them, and their parents before them … you get my drift. They are taught not to question, but just to follow. And China is so communal, so they all follow together. 

Another example: 

Lee and I were sitting in KFC last Saturday night, waiting for Jeff to get there. And I looked out the window and there was a poor baby in at least 5 layers of clothes, when it’s only like 60 something outside.

 I looked at Lee and said, “Why do you Chinese people where so many clothes?”

He rolled his eyes and basically said that I drive him crazy with all my questions. 

I argued with him that it’s ridiculous to wear so many clothes when it’s so warm outside. To which he replied that if they don’t wear enough clothes and it gets cold, they will get sick. So even when it’s like 80 degrees out, they wear lots of clothes so that if it gets cold they don’t get sick. Apparently your pores are open when its hot and so if it quickly turns cold, then sickness will creep in through your open pores and you will get sick. 

This was Lee’s explanation to me about why the Chinese wear so many clothes. 

My come back was a simple, “Like it’s really going to get cold that fast.”

Of course the ending of this story is probably even more hilarious than his ridiculous explanation. So we go outside to meet Jeff, and when we go outside, I get cold. I tell Lee this fact, and he bursts out laughing telling me I should wear more clothes. Then I get out my bag and I pull out my sweatshirt. 

He completely lost it. “You are so clever!” he laughed. 

Yes, Lee, yes I am very clever. Because I know I can still carry a sweatshirt and not put it on until I get cold. Genius, I know. 

Me and Lee at Yingze Park

The theme of these two stories is one short word: Why?

I’ve learned from my year in China that they don’t really ask “why” here. 

And it drives me crazy!!!

I’ll ask a simple question like “Why do you do x, y, z?” 

The answer I get, “I don’t know.”

And now Lindsay has banged her head into a wall. Seriously it’s a miracle I haven’t ended up with a concussion here in China. 

It’s something I don’t understand. How can you not ask why? How can you just blindly believe and do what you’re told? Don’t certain things seem irrational to you? Or is it really so ingrained in you that you can’t think of another way to do something?

I basically asked Lee these questions and told him that I was raised to ask questions, to ask why, to not just blindly follow. 

That’s when he said something very interesting to me. 

“Lindsay, it’s the same. My parents wear many clothes, so I wear many clothes, and my children will wear many clothes. Your parents question, so you question, and your children will question.”

The scary thing: he’s right. 

So think about how often you ask why. About anything. Big or small. Why do you ask why?

And wear more clothes-sickness might creep in through the pores in your skin if the temperature suddenly drops from 80 to 60. Just sayin.

Some of the Bring Me Hope club students at Zhong Bei

Me and the Bring Me Hope club at Zhong Bei

Sonjie, Answer, Jeff, Lee, Tina, me, and Bourne-I love these guys

Some of my awesome friends at dinner

A softened heart

China has changed me. It’s changed me A LOT. When I first told people about coming to China, they all said “you’ll come back a completely different person.” 

I didn’t really believe them. I knew China would change me-I just didn’t think it would change me much. I figured I would still be the same driven force of nature that I always have been, I would still have the edge I’ve always prided myself on having. 

I was partially right. 

But I was also so wrong. 

Before China, I carried a huge chip on my shoulder and basically flipped off the entire world.

And I don’t mean to be crude, but that’s how I was. I had that chip on my shoulder for years, and to be quiet honest, I liked it. I liked the fact that I didn’t need anyone, that I could handle everything by myself, that I could be the best if I truly applied myself. 

This hardness that I had was a huge part of my identity-it was a way for me to keep from being hurt. But in the end it ended up hurting me more than protecting me. 

That hardness came over to China with me-but praise Father I don’t think I’ll be returning to the states with it. 

My teammate Chesney made me laugh so hard a few weeks ago. She told me, “Lindsay, I was scared of you at training in Beijing.” I responded, “Why?” She basically told me that at training I still had the chip on my shoulder, but now she saw it wasn’t there anymore. 

When I told my mother about this conversation, she laughed and told me she had asked Father for a long time to take the hardness away. And now she saw Him doing that, but not in the way she envisioned. So, out of curiosity, I asked her how she had thought Father would take away my hardness. Her answer: children. Of course she meant that I would have my own children and that’s how Father would soften me. But then she said, “But He has used children. Just not your own.” 

It’s so true. Father has used my beautiful babies to soften my heart. There was no fighting this one-they just captured my heart and ran with it. 

I have to tell you guys a couple stories about my precious babies:

1    Sheldon … oh my gosh this adorable little guy just melts my heart. He is in class 4 (which is a class with a C130 sized amount of personality and mischief). We had been learning the phrases “Do you like …” and “Yes I like …/No I don’t.” For one activity I would shout out a phrase and they would repeat it in a whisper and vice versa. After a little bit, I had some of the students come up and lead the class. So I sat down in an empty desk next to Sheldon and pretended to be a student. The entire class thought that was HILARIOUS. Anyway, when it was Sheldon’s turn to lead the class, he gets up there and starts out with “Do you like tigers?” After he said a couple phrases, he looks at me and gets this silly grin on his face. He shouts out to the class “Do you like Meesa Lindsay?!” And the whole class responds “Yes I like Meesa Lindsay!” I about burst into tears right there.

2    

         Zoe: this sweet, precious little girl is in my class 7. She is so smart and so well-behaved, an example to the kids in the class. This past semester she comes up to me every class, wraps her little arms around me, and says “Meesa Lindsay, wo ai ni,” which means I love you in Chinese. So I’ve taught her how to say I love you in English, and now she comes, hugs me, and says “Meesa Lindsay, I love you!” To which I always respond “Zoe, I love you,” and kiss her on the forehead. It has become our pre-class tradition.

My Zoe

3    Evie: this child is so full of life and attitude, she cracks me up. She will scream at the other kids in class if they aren’t paying attention or doing what they are supposed to be doing. It’s kind of hilarious considering she is one of the smallest little girls I have. The other day in the hall she grabbed me and pulled me down, turned my head, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Evie dancing during exercise time

4    

      Class 1: the entire class was convinced when my city director came to visit that he was my husband. Of course Candy corrected them. But I told her to tell them that I was not married and had no boyfriend, so they wouldn’t make that mistake again. She told them and the entire class went “awwwww” and gave me such sympathetic looks. I about threw up my hands and went “Not you guys too!” Between my first-graders, my co-teachers, and my college friends, I get so much sympathy for being single it’s ridiculous.

Class 1-they're a  mess!

Dustin: so y’all have pretty much figured out by now that he’s my favorite. I can’t help but love this kid-he’s hilarious. A few weeks ago, I was walking him to the bus to say good-bye, and I asked him to bring a picture of his family back with him. The next Monday, he runs up to me and proudly presents me with a picture of his family. So I decided to write his parents a note and send him home with a picture of me. I had one of my co-teachers write the note in Chinese after I wrote it in English. The next Monday he comes up to be at the beginning of class with an envelope in his hand and a big grin on his face. He hands me the envelope and says “Meesa Lindsay, this is for you.” I opened it and it was the sweetest note from his parents, written in English with a middle part in Chinese, which my co-teachers translated. The Chinese part of the note said something about how his parents were sorry they could not come to parents’ weekend to see me last semester. They also said something about Dustin dreams of me … I think that part was lost in translation haha. But yeah, this kid is wonderful.

Dustin leading his class!

It is my hope that when I return to the US, my hardness will not return. I told my brother this fear, and he encouraged me saying, “I don’t think you’ll regress. This has been a life-changing experience … you don’t forget that.” That’s my hope-that this truly has been a life-changing experience-I don’t think I’ll come back to the US the same person. And that’s a good thing.

Fun in the Sun

I’ve decided that there is absolutely no way I can tell you everything that happened on my amazing adventure in Thailand. I wish I could, but you’d be spending the next 5+ hours reading and “ain’t nobody got time for that.”

So I’ll give you the highlights via pictures and a few short sentences to explain the craziness that I got myself into. 

Well to start out, we went to Phuket (pronounced poo-ket) for 8. We were about a 7 minute walk from the beach-it was AWESOME! 

 

Our hostel in Phuket!

 

The street our hostel was on

We chilled at the beach a bunch and had awesome food.

Haley picking out a lobster-it was still alive

With our favorite waiter, who we call "Same-same"

Setting off a lantern at Chinese New Year's Eve

Me and Malaysia with the sand woman we all built

While we were in Phuket, I turned 23. My travel buddies did an amazing job creating clues that told me what we would do throughout the day. I was so blessed and it was probably one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. 

We went to Tiger Kingdom, and yes they were real tigers and no they were not drugged. They sleep a lot. I showed the pictures to my Chinese brothers Jeff and Lee and they were like “Whoa! You are so brave!” Keep thinking that guys. 

With our taxi drive-he was a hoot

While we were in Phuket, we also got to go snorkeling at Surin Islands. We went out on a speed-boat to one of the islands, saw a Sea Gypsy village, snorkeled, hung out on a beach, and snorkeled some more. I was amazed at the beauty all around me, and it made me think of how awesome our Creator is.

Hailey, me, and Joy on the boat!

Sea gypsy village

With our awesome guide!

Sea Gypsy girl

Me and my snorkeling gear

UNDER THE SEA!

UNDER THE SEA!

Darling it's better down where it's wetter!

Take it from MEEEEEEE!!!!!

NEMO!!!!!!!

I love this picture. Joy was tired of getting wet!

I was so blessed during our time in Phuket: rest, relaxation, good food, awe
some friends, lots of laughs, and plenty of sun.