The Interrupted Life: Why

Why?

It’s a very simple question.

It’s a very powerful question.

And it’s one I’ve asked all my life.

But for many of my Chinese friends, it’s something they don’t ask at all.

I’ve had several revealing conversations with some of my Chinese friends lately. And for some reason this simple question keeps popping up-but usually when I ask them why, they give me blank stares.

I went “hiking” with a couple student I know at the North University here in Taiyuan. FYI, Chinese hiking means climbing a bunch of stairs to the top of a mountain and then climbing back down said stairs. Yeah, real hiking.

Some of my friends at Zhong bei-Nolan, Peter, and Corey

Anyway, while we were hiking, one of the guys asked me, “Lindsay, do you believe everything your parents and teachers tell you?”

My first instinct was to laugh and react with a smart-aleck retort. But I realized that it was a really serious question in his mind.

So I answered with, “No, I don’t.”

They looked at me like I had 3 heads with green horns and red lasers coming out of my eyes.

So I had to elaborate. I told them how growing up I always questioned everything-I wanted to know why. And if someone didn’t give me a good enough reason to believe something or do something, I wasn’t going to do it.

Their response: “Oh, that’s not like China.”

I know that’s not like China. In China they just do things because their parents did them, and their parent before them, and their parents before them, and their parents before them … you get my drift. They are taught not to question, but just to follow. And China is so communal, so they all follow together.

Another example:

Lee and I were sitting in KFC last Saturday night, waiting for Jeff to get there. And I looked out the window and there was a poor baby in at least 5 layers of clothes, when it’s only like 60 something outside.

I looked at Lee and said, “Why do you Chinese people where so many clothes?”

He rolled his eyes and basically said that I drive him crazy with all my questions.

I argued with him that it’s ridiculous to wear so many clothes when it’s so warm outside. To which he replied that if they don’t wear enough clothes and it gets cold, they will get sick. So even when it’s like 80 degrees out, they wear lots of clothes so that if it gets cold they don’t get sick. Apparently your pores are open when its hot and so if it quickly turns cold, then sickness will creep in through your open pores and you will get sick.

This was Lee’s explanation to me about why the Chinese wear so many clothes.

My come back was a simple, “Like it’s really going to get cold that fast.”

Of course the ending of this story is probably even more hilarious than his ridiculous explanation. So we go outside to meet Jeff, and when we go outside, I get cold. I tell Lee this fact, and he bursts out laughing telling me I should wear more clothes. Then I get out my bag and I pull out my sweatshirt.

He completely lost it. “You are so clever!” he laughed.

Yes, Lee, yes I am very clever. Because I know I can still carry a sweatshirt and not put it on until I get cold. Genius, I know.

Me and Lee at Yingze Park

The theme of these two stories is one short word: Why?

I’ve learned from my year in China that they don’t really ask “why” here.

And it drives me crazy!!!

I’ll ask a simple question like “Why do you do x, y, z?”

The answer I get, “I don’t know.”

And now Lindsay has banged her head into a wall. Seriously it’s a miracle I haven’t ended up with a concussion here in China.

It’s something I don’t understand. How can you not ask why? How can you just blindly believe and do what you’re told? Don’t certain things seem irrational to you? Or is it really so ingrained in you that you can’t think of another way to do something?

I basically asked Lee these questions and told him that I was raised to ask questions, to ask why, to not just blindly follow.

That’s when he said something very interesting to me.

“Lindsay, it’s the same. My parents wear many clothes, so I wear many clothes, and my children will wear many clothes. Your parents question, so you question, and your children will question.”

The scary thing: he’s right.

So think about how often you ask why. About anything. Big or small. Why do you ask why?

And wear more clothes-sickness might creep in through the pores in your skin if the temperature suddenly drops from 80 to 60. Just sayin.