The year after China

Exactly one year ago today, I landed in Seattle. I left behind the country and the people I had fallen in love with to return back to the States. On this day, in 2014, I remember feeling just this dark, heavy cloud of grief and anger. I was not happy to be home, and I was so, so angry at Father. I did not understand what He was doing. I imagined what the next year would hold, back in the States. At that time, to me, this year would be nothing but heart-ache, wishing to return back to China. I felt hopeless, alone, and terrified.

And that feeling stayed with me for several months after I returned. I remember the day I started medical school-I cried so hard, wishing I was with my babies. Those dear, sweet babies.

Soon though, the pain and heart-ache grew less and less. Do I still have days when I miss China and my babies? Absolutely. But it's not the overwhelming feeling of sorrow I had before. Father has healed my heart. He's constantly being merciful to me, showing me what He has planned for my life. The events of this past year have just astounded me. And it's all because of Him.

So here's a couple things that happened this year. The year after China.

For one, I finished my first year of med school! Hallelujah! It was an incredible, insanely hard year. But I have learned so much. And I am so blessed to be learning with some of the best and the brightest in this country. Father has given me an amazing group of friends. They have been my rock this year, bearing with me as I freak out and cry because I miss China.

CMDA party at my apartment

My amazing anatomy lab group! Love these girls!

My family got a puppy!!!!! This was probably the biggest surprise all year. I couldn't believe Dad finally caved and got Emmy the puppy she has been begging for for years. I remember the night Mom called me and told me they got a puppy. I yelled for a while. But as soon as I met dear Willis, I fell in love. He is part Jack Russell terrier, part Chihuahua. AKA the most hyper insane dog you'll ever meet. He is nuts! But we love him to death. 

 

 

First bath-he was so little

He likes to go on runs with me when I'm home.

I ran my first triathlon. With my Dad. It was an incredible experience. I had so much fun. It was so inspiring, seeing all shapes and sizes and ages coming out to join the fun of swimming, biking, and running. I know some people wouldn't call that fun. But it was a blast.

As Dad and I started the run, I asked him, "Dad, will you at least let me cross the finish line first?"

He looked at me and said, "What kind of question is that?"

"So that's a no?"

Dad laughed, "I am not letting you win."

"But you have to let your kids win sometimes."

"No, I don't."

So as we approached the last 50-100 yards before the finish line, I just decided to go all out sprint. I should've thought it through better and waited until right before the finish line, so I really could have beat him. Of course Dad takes off and passes me. But only a couple steps ahead of me. Gotta love my Dad.

Aside from having him beat me, it was such an amazing day. And I think I'm hooked on tri training now.

I got a research internship at St. Jude for the summer!! I couldn't believe it! It was such a Father thing. It's an unbelievable experience, one that I will cherish as long as I live. I'm working in the surgery department, looking at osteosarcoma (bone cancer) in kids. Every day I learn something new. It's a dream come true to be able to work at one of the most well-respected children's hospitals in the world. Plus they feed us free food every day, which is an added bonus. Gotta get the free food when you can.

The monument to the pediatric cancer genome project outside the building where I work

And last but not least, probably the biggest adjustment for me this year, I now have a boyfriend. Yeah I know, I can't believe it either. His name is Josh, and he lives in Chattanooga. Our story is way too complicated and crazy to explain. I don't even know how in the world Father brought us together, but here we are. The poor boy has to put up with so much from me. Me, Ms. Independent/I-don't-need-a-man/I-am-she-woman-hear-me-roar. Believe me, I'm just as shocked as you all are. But he's great. He lets me be my insane, independent self, he pushes me to love Father more, and he is so supportive of me being in med school. When I'm freaking out about a test or grades or residency, he reminds me that I am right where Father wants me. Which is something I need to hear almost on a daily basis.

And I don't have pics of us, because I don't like taking pictures and he would probably make a goofy face in any pic we took anyway.

So yeah, it's been a crazy, crazy, hard, wonderful year. I could not have imagined any of this when I landed back in the States one year ago. It's been so much better than I hoped. And that's because of Father. He knows what we need. He knows where He wants us, and He will take us there. Usually it looks a lot different than what we thought or planned. But that's the beauty of serving an all-knowing God. One who loves us far more than we ever could love Him back.