Saying yes

"You want to go to Haiti on July 18?" 

"You have to decide by tomorrow morning.”

Wait ... WHAT?!

This was what my Dad said to me 2 weeks ago. 

My little sister, Elise, was supposed to go to Haiti with my dad and a team from our local fellowship. Coming home from China, I was looking forward to sending her off on her first service trip and hearing all about it upon her return. She's an amazing young woman who loves Father with all her heart. I knew she would have an incredible impact in Haiti. 

But, my dad made the call 2 weeks ago that Elise should probably stay stateside due to some recent health issues. That's when he looked at me and asked if I wanted to go. 

Needless to say, I was a little shocked. I had just been home less than 2 weeks after the best, hardest year if my life in China. And Elise was supposed to go-not me. And Haiti?! Really?! China was one thing-but Haiti?! 

And on top of that, I'm starting medical school August 11. I don't have time to go to Haiti for a week! Are you nuts?!

Of course I knew the minute he asked me that I was going to go. After all, what have I learned this year:  to say yes to Father. He says "jump." I say "how high?" He says "go to Haiti." I pack my bags. 

People tell me I'm crazy. I just got back from China, I'm going to medical school soon, I need to stay home and rest. Go to Haiti?! Ain't nobody got time for that! 

But Father has time. And when He opens a door, you go through it. You have to be flexible, and you have to say yes to the life interruptions. 

Saying yes is hard. Because Father calls us to some hard things-often we don't know how hard it's gonna be. I think of Elise-Father is walking her through some major disappointment. She wanted to go to Haiti, but He had something different. I'm amazed at the maturity she has shown in the face of all this-and I'm amazed at how she has been so supportive of me going.

I am not taking her place on this team. There are not 14 of us-there are 15. I told her I was just her pinch hitter. She didn't know what that was. 

She said yes to Father, so I said yes too. 

Just say yes to Him, whatever He's calling you to, say yes. It's worth it. Because HE is worth it!

And besides, these interruptions in life-they aren't really interruptions. That's the beauty of it. 

Ruined for the ordinary

It's been a month since I said goodbye to Taiyuan. Some days it feels like my year in China never happened. Like it was just a dream.

But I know it wasn't a dream. It was real. I can still feel the hugs of my babies, I can still hear them calling my name,"Meesa Lindsay! Meesa Lindsay!," I can still see their precious, beautiful faces every time I close my eyes.

For a while I wasn't able to look at the pictures of my babies. Because I would just start to cry. It was still too hard. 

People keep saying to me,"I bet you are just so glad to be back in America!" And sometimes I just want to scream at them, "NO I'M NOT!!! I hate America! I want to go back to China!! My heart is there!"

I'm not glad to be back in America. Now before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. I'm happy to see my family, I am excited to go to medical school in a few weeks, I like being able to drive my car, flush toilet paper down the toilet, eat Mexican food whenever I want. I'm still getting used to light switches being on the inside of the bathroom instead of outside.

But my heart is in China. My heart is with my babies. The week before I left, I begged Father to let me stay in China, to stay with my babies, with my friends.

But He said "No." He reminded me that He wants me to become a doctor. My passion is not teaching. My passion is medicine, and my passion is now China. And I have to trust Him that some day, He will bring those two passions together. 

At training last August, they told us they hoped this year would "ruin you for the ordinary." I didn't understand what that meant then. I was still in my "let's get this year over with so I can get back to medicine" mode.

Now I get it. I am ruined for the ordinary. I no longer just want to become a pediatric oncologist and work at St. Jude's and live out the rest of my days in the comforts of America. I can't live the typical American doctor life. I have to do something more. 

Father has lit a fire in my heart-a fire for China, a fire for change, a fire for His kingdom. I've got to go back, if it's His will. Medicine isn't enough anymore. HE is all that matters.