Kids say the darnedest things

So you know how kids say the first thing that pops into their heads and usually it's hilarious and/or completely inappropriate?

Chinese first-graders are beasts at this.

Examples:

1) day one of teaching: "teacher, you are very white."

Thanks kid for pointing out my ridiculously pale skin.

2) kid mispronouncing short ... I'll leave it at that.

3) Gavin running up and down the hall screaming "Oh my god! Oh my god!" 

I swear I didn't teach him that.

4) Dustin after exercise time: "Meesa Lindsay, next class we have is matches."

Me: "What?"

Dustin: "Next class we have is matches."

Me: "What?"

Dustin: *rolls his eyes* "Next class we have is matches."

Me: "math?

Dustin: "Matches."

Yeah I got no clue on that one either. So my genius kid doesn't have perfect English. Eh, he's still a genius.

5) 36 kids singing, "Happy Birseday to you!!!! Happy Birseday to you!!!!! Happy Birseday to yoooooouuuu!!! Happy Birseday to you!!!"

6) 36 kids singing "We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas! And a Happy New You!"

Don't ask.

7) After the class in which I gave the kids Christmas cookies, Dustin comes up to me "Meesa lindsay, your food is very good."

Quickest way to an Chinese first graders heart it through his stomache.

8) Zoe: "Meesa Lindsay, you are very tall."

Me:  "Say what?"

9) All 36 kids "hamburger, hamburger, hanbaobao!" (Pronounced hanbowbow)

I make them do this chant just for kicks because it's freakin hilarious. 

10) I asked the kids where the were going for Spring Festival/winter holiday. I got lots of answers, and one kid said he was going to America. This went down:

Kid A: "Mei guo." (America in Chinese)

Kid B: something in Chinese

-whole class and my coteacher bust out laughing.

Me: *totally confused* "Monica, what did he say?"

Monica:*trying hard to keep from dying* "he said his mother said that all Americans are fat."

Me *nearly fell over laughing*

Monica: (at the kid in Chinese) "but Meesa Lindsay is American and she isn't fat!"

Apparently I am breaking the Chinese stereotype of tall, fat blonde, blue eyed Americans. Go me!!

11) again when I was asking the kids where they were going, one kid told me he was going to visit his brother. I was like "that's cool." 

Then after class, he came up to me and starting chatting animatedly in Chinese. What I got was the his brother is 20 years old. He then asked me how old I was. I told hi. I was 22. He then got this huge grin on his face and started talking excitedly ... I'm a wee bit worried he's trying to set me up with his brother. 

Hope you enjoyed these little random things my kids sat. It's been a joy and a blessing to be with my babies, and I'm missing them terribly while I'm on vacation. On my last day of th semester they freaked to until I told them I would be back next term. They quickly calmed down-but it made me think of how I will have to say goodbye to them in 5.5 months. Don't know exactly how I'm gonna do that ... But it has to happen.